Who, What, and Why Am I?

Who am I?
                    What am I?
                                       Why am I?


     Many times I have asked myself different forms of these questions; Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose? Why do I exist? What is the point to my existence? Although these questions are not exactly the same, they all root from those first three questions. Who am I, what am I, and why am I.
     Where do these questions come from? It varies for everyone, but here are a few sources; Societies/Medias' portrayal of the perfect  woman, or man. The words people say about you. The way you are treated. How you feel about your actions. How others feel about your actions. What you would like to be, vs. what you think you are.
     Now, I know I've given quite a few examples here, but let me give the examples.
societies portrayal of the perfect woman or man. This can bring up all three of those questions. "Who am I compared to that woman/man", "Why don't I look/act like that" or even "Why can't I look/act like that", "What am I worth. Those people look, act, and seem perfect. I'm just a big, fat, ugly, blob who can't even remember what I did yesterday! I'm no where close to where I should be."

the way you are treated; "what did I do wrong?", "Why am I being treated this way when I'm trying so hard to be nice and forgiving to them?", "Why did they stop talking to me?", "Why do they hate me?"

How you feel about your actions; "Why can't I just turn the other cheek?", "Why am I letting them treat me this way?", "What did I do wrong.", "Why do I feel hurt when it's all my fault?"

do you follow all of those why questions with a "I must have done something terrible, but I thought I was being so nice." or a "I can't say anything because it's my fault anyway." or even a "I shouldn't be hurt/angry because it's my fault they're being mean."


     First, ask yourself "What is wrong with this picture?"


     Now, ask yourself  "Do I think this way about myself or someone else?"



Well if you do think this way, let me be the first to say "Welcome to the club!"
Let me also be the first to say, "let's put an expiration  date on that club  membership shall we?"


Now I have to say that I do not know whether you are in the wrong or not. But I can tell you that if someone's words or actions are hurtful, and even possibly are using you. Then there is something seriously wrong. You may have played a part in the way they treat you, however, as Christians we are supposed to go to each other and discuss, resolve, forgive, and change the hurtful ways we act and things we say. You must make the first step; take it to the Lord and examine the situation before Him. THEN you can talk to the other person.

ok, now back to the main subject.
   
What you would like to be vs. what you think you are; Now the phrase "what you think you are" is very important. You are probably a lot closer to what you would like to be than what you think;
Do you want to be there for people, and/or help them but feel it's useless to try? Do you want to thin and beautiful, but think you are overweight and ugly? Do you want to have a long-lasting friendship, but think you are not worth it?

As your sister in Christ I am here to tell you;
      you are beautiful. 
                                   
                                     your efforts are not useless

                                                                                  you are worth it
                                       
                                                                                                             you are a priceless treasure

                you are perfect                                                                     you are more beautiful each day

                                                                                                              you have been declared perfect

                                                                                 you are declared righteous
                                     
                                        you are forgiven

     God has called you "beloved" 

YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY THE MEDIA, SIN, HURT, ANGER, BITTERNESS, SHORTCOMINGS, FAILURES, WORDS, ACTIONS, ANYTHING IN OR OF THIS WORLD. 

There is no end to the lies Satan puts into your head by using these things. Whether they come from you or another person. If you think, that you are worthless, ugly, unwanted, impossible to love. It is a lie. I'm not saying you don't sin, and that you can just shove that off. NO! you have to get yourself right with God. However, just because you sin, does NOT make you filthy, unwanted, worthless, ugly, impossible.
YOU ARE NOT any of those things.

YOU ARE FORGIVEN!

   

My Pappa God ( and prayer)

Prayer is not just a way to communicate with a God who is all powerful and almighty. It's not just a way to revere and respect Him. It's a way to talk to your Pappa God. The one who made you. In Psalms it says that God "knit me together in my mothers womb." The One who touched me, made me, came up with the idea that Alainna is going to exist, and lovingly took the time to set aside all His business and make a piece of art that turned out to be me. Sure I've fallen off the table a few times and I've got a few cracks, yes I'm not perfect and I'm not flawless. But He thinks I am. Everytime I tip over and roll of the workshop table and crack a bit more. He has picked me up and glued me back together. Now there have been times when I haven't just rolled off the table and cracked (so to speak) I got caught in a wind and a fell off and broke! But He always picks me up and makes me new again. Because He is my Pappa and He genuenly loves me.
Sometimes when I prayed I used to get so focused on "oh no what if I say a wrong word and people laugh at me or think I'm silly." That I wouldn't talk to my Pappa, I would sit there and nervously drone on like I was reading a script.
NO! that's not the way it's supposed to be! If my best friend sat there, stared at the wall, and read a script, and that was our conversation for the day; I would feel so hurt and rejected. I wouldn't feel like I was actually their friend. I would feel like an invisible blob that they *had* to talk to not a person that loved them and they *want* to talk to.
That's how it is with Jesus too. He wants to talk to you like your friend. 'Cause that's what He is, a friend.
Feel free to talk to Him any time, all the time. He is a friend that walks with you, and waits patiently for you to notice His presence. and He wants to talk to you. If I had my choice I would spend all day with my best friends, and talk, laugh, and cry with them, enjoying every moment. That's what Jesus wants. He wants to be our Pappa God, and our friend. Someone to talk to laugh with, and the One who will hug, cuddle, and cry with us when we get hurt.




~ Pappa God.
Today was really hard. I fell off the table and broke into thousands of little pieces, and it hurt. It still hurts, even though Your working on piecing me together. I have nothing left to give right now to anybody except Your hands that are working to repair me. So my Lord Jesus I thank You that I broke, so now I'm closer to You. I thank You that You can fix me, and You won't ever pick me up and throw me on the ground to stay there shattered into millions of pieces. Thank You that even though I hurt so badly I can have joy in You. I ask that You would teach me to be Yours in all I do; in my actions, words, thoughts, heart, and soul. So I can one day help You piece another broken pot back together too.
I love You my Jesus. Help me to love You more!
~Your Beloved

I read this while reading in a book called Jesus Calling it's like a daily bread book. :)
So on day May 9th (in the book, yes I'm way behind... all well >_< )

and this is Jesus talking. :) btw

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I can bring good even out of your mistakes. Your finite mind tends to look backward, longing to undo decisions you have come to regret. This is a waste of time and energy, leading only to frustrations. Instead of floundering in the past, release your mistakes to Me. Look to Me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design. Because you are human, you will continue to make mistakes. Thinking that you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride. Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weaknesses. Best of ll, failure highlights your dependence on Me. I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes.
Trust Me, and watch to see what I will do."

Romans 8:28   "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Micah 7:7  "but as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my savior, my God will hear me."

Come Out of Your Closet!

I started today with five cats. by 2:30 this afternoon I was informed that we had found our cat Camina under our camper dead. She was hit by a car.
Over the past few weeks I have been empty and hiding my emotions inside a locked trunk in my heart. Because I did not want to deal with my emotions and the reality of my grandmothers death.
Tonight my heart is aching. but it is full.
I have been seeking for Jesus these past weeks wondering why I do not feel his presence. I have been closing most of my doors to Him, and have been letting Him stand in the entry way waiting for me to come out from my hiding place in the closet.
I am still deeply saddened by the deaths of my grandmother and my cat. (and also the many sheep we have lost both today and over the past months). But. Even though I am crying, and hurting, over these things, I am at peace because God is in control. and He loves me, and the people and animals a things I love, and He cherishes them and He mourns with me for my pain, and rejoices with them for their return.
God is with You always. Let Him rejoice and cry with You. Come out of your closet. stop hiding and cry in His arms. 

Mexican Pie

Mexican pie is a dish I made up the other night by experimenting with what I had! It turned out to be pretty good! So now I am sharing it with you readers! ~ Alainna

Mexican Pie

 

Ingredients: 

• oil (olive, cooking, vegetable, or canola)
• tortilla shells                                            
• one 24 oz can refried beans                     
•  one 16 oz can green beans                      
• 1/4 cup finely chopped onion                  
• 1/4 cup finely chopped celery                  
• 1/2 a cup of cheese (or more)                   
• 1 tsp Paprika                                             
• 2 tsp chili powder                                     
• 1 grade AA egg                                          

 

Tools:

• 1 large bowl                                           
• 1 small bowl                                          
•  1 whisk                                                 
• oil brush                                                
• 1 9x13 or 8x8x4 pan    

                            

Directions:

• Brush bottom and sides of pan with oil. 

          cover the sides and bottom of pan with tortilla shells

• in small bowl, beat the egg, paprika, and chilli powder. save until later.
• In large bowl mix refried beans, green beans, onion, celery, and egg mixture. stir until well mixed and then add the cheese.
• put bean mixture in pan over the tortillas 
• cover with oiled tortillas and cheese (if you want)
• cover pan with lid (or aluminum foil)
• bake in oven at 350 degrees for 30 min.
  
  (optional)   Serve with sour cream, salsa, and olives. 

Psalm 77

I cried out to God with my voice - to God with my voice; And He gave ear to me.

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord; My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing. My soul refuses to be comforted. 

I rememvered God, and was troubled; I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. 

You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled I cannot speak. 

I have comsidered the days of old, the years of ancient times. 

I call to rememvrance my song in the night; I meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search. 

Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be facorable no more? 

Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? 

Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? 

And I said, "THis is my anguish; Bit I will rememver the years of the right hand of the Most High." 

I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. 

I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds. 

You way, O God, is in the snagtuary; Who is so great a God as our God?

 You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples. 

You with Your arm redeemed Your people, The sons of Jacob and Joseph.

The waters saw You, O God; The waters say You, they were afraid; The depths also trembled,

The clouds poured out water; The skieds sent out a sound; Your arrows also flashed about. 

The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind; the lightnings lit up the world; the earth trembled and shook. 

Your way was in the sea, You path in the great waters, And Your footsteps were not known. 

You led Your people like a flock By the hand of Moses and Aaron. 

This chapter of Psalms speaks very specifically to me, in my life right now. 

Verse one says  "I cried out to God with my voice To God with my voice; And He gave ear to me"   When I read this, I stopped. I thought about all the times I have read in the Bible, or heard from other people if I cry out to God He will hear me! This verse hit me with the realisation that if I will call out to God, with my voice, heart, soul, mind, He. Will. Hear. Me. It may not be time for the situation to change, or the pain to go away, but He. Will. Hear. Me. And He Knows, and feels, my burdens with me!

Verses 2 and 6 are perfect descriptions of how I feel right now. However, the next few verses are questions (verses 7-9) I've asked these questions and I can assure, myself and you of what the answers to these questions are. I've experienced these questions, and their answers multiple times before.

The Lord has NOT left forever, He hasn't even left you for a MOMENT! You may not be able to feel His presence, but He IS there, crying with you! 

His mercys are NEVER ENDING! the Bible says the Lord has cast your sins "as far as the East is from the West" and He has forgotten your sins forever more. You ask Him if He remembers the thought you had last week that wasn't ok, or the action you did a long time ago or recently. He will say "No."  the Bible ALSO says that "His mercys are renewed every morning" I think these andswer the first half of verse 8. 

What about His promises? Have they failed? Romans 4:16 says "Therefore it is of faith that it might be according to grace, so that the promise might be sure to all the seed, also to those who are of the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all." This says that all the seed (everyone who is a descendant of Abraham, which is ALL of us...) can be sure of Gods promise(s). 

verse nine. Our answer for verse 7 also applies to the second half of verse 9. but the first half is not answered. Has God forgotten to be gracious? NO. He HAS NOT! God always gives us grace. same as He does mercy. 

Verses 10- 13 is spent declaring that even though there is anguish, you will praise the Lord, declare His name, remember His promises, and continue to want to be a sanctuary for Him. 

verses 14 -20 are declaring who God is! and what He is! He is a god of wonders! "He has declared His strength among the peoples" He has redeemed the peoples!

He is so huge that the WATERS are AFRAID!!! Imagine when you stand in the ocean or get in the pool, or lake, you HAVE to be careful, because it is dangerous, you could drown, or get pulled out to sea, it in itself is scary. Just think that that huge scary thing to us is AFRAID of God!!!!!!!

This Chapter can really make me think. It blesses my soul, when I Read this chapter. It reminds me of who I am to God, and more importantly, who God is. 

Dear Lord, thank you SO much for Your word. Help us to remember who You are, what You did, and why we're here. Lord please bless our hearts as we go through each day, the hard and the easy, the good and the bad. I pray You would work wonders in each and everyone of our lives, and help us all to be a witness for You. Help us to love one another unconditionally as You would! Lord thank You SO much, for all the good and bad! and for Your son! Thank You Lord! I pray for those reading this post, that You would bless their hearts, and show Yourself to them. Lord heal them, help them, and give them peace! 

Amen. 

Prayer would be good right now.