Mauled Souls

The world is a place full of demons, darkness, hate, and hurt.

Searching and seeking, and empty works.
Life and light is dimmed and dulled
Until, with all our strength we have pulled
Pulled on nothing that's worth our while
For we have wagered our souls on worthless bile.

We seek fulfillment through acts and works
And all of love and grace we shirk
Away into our holes we crawl
Hiding away, our souls we maul

We were not made to slink in shadows
We were not made to work the gallows
Yet we stand, in our masks, at the hangman's noose
Putting a head in, then their feet we let loose.

We execute the world with our judgment and hate
Creating bias laws and calling it fate.
We were not made to damn our fellow man
And yet we desert them, merely because "we can"

We are so caught up in our own personal darkness
That we spread it to the world, making ourselves heartless
We have eliminated grace
There is not a trace
I see none in the whole human race.

Why do we dabble in the works of demons,
Allow them to use us to call our brother "heathen"
You're so self-consumed that you add to the shrieks
Of your fellow man, upon whom, your vengeance you wreak
We think to ourselves "our foes we have vanquished!"
No, we've deafened the earth with shrieks of anguish.

~ Michelle B. Rose

December 2015

Christmas

While going to college I am experiencing a myriad of different views of Christmas and the holiday season. I have heard several people say they don't like Christmas or they don't do the holidays. When I asked them why, their reasons were heartbreaking. Their reasons ranged from lost loved ones, to rude words. The fact that these reasons even exist is just so sad. I know that we all have had rude words said to us, we've all lost loved ones, and we have all been hurt by people and we do remember the date that people died. But we often don't remember the date that someone hurt us. So why is it that when these things happen at Christmas we don't like Christmas?
When we create a bad memory, do we not remember the surroundings? People who have been hurt will remember whether they were outside, inside, sitting on a couch, by a desk, on the computer etc. How much more will they remember a Christmas tree, or the stockings, or the smell of pine and cinnamon?
I remember the morning my grandpa died. I had just gotten out of the shower I was drying my hair with a towel and I walked into the entry room. My mom was sitting on a chair at the desk, she was on the phone and she looked concerned. My sister was standing a little behind her, to her side. My sister looked at me and signed in ASL "grandpa died". I remember exactly what happened, the exact surroundings, I remember the towel I was drying my hair with was white. All of those little details. But I don't remember the exact surroundings when my sister yelled at me, or when my mom yelled at me. I remember it happened but not the details. But when someone yells at us on Christmas, we remember the details. Why do we remember that? On any other day, we wouldn't remember those details three or four years later. But we always remember the little details about Christmas 3 or 4 years later. Christmas, whether good or bad, is usually grained on a persons memory. So when something bad happens, those memories are that much deeper, and that much more encompassing.
When people used to tell me they didn't like Christmas, I would get a bit offended because they were "dissing" one of my favorite things. Now that I've actually asked why, I can relate to them.
I have a friend who has consistent bad memories about Christmas time, so they don't enjoy Christmas, because those memories are what comes up. I have another friend who has lost numerous friends around Christmas time. So Christmas time to them, has become a time of mourning and sad recollection.
Their reasons for not liking Christmas, comes out of deeply ingrained memories of hurt and sadness. Why are we deepening those bad memories by getting upset at them?
Why not give them a reason to heal and enjoy Christmas, rather than add to their hurt.

If you have a friend who does not like Christmas, I encourage you to come up with a tradition, or something fun to do. Build them up, give them reasons to find joy in Christmas, reasons to heal and enjoy Christmas every year so that eventually you can jointly enjoy Christmas, completely healed, those wounds filled with the joy of good memories you have created together!

If you are reading this and you are someone who does not like Christmas. Please let me encourage you. Your past Christmases, and maybe your present Christmas is filled with hurt. But I would encourage you to make an effort this year to find one thing, or one person you like, and make a good memory with them. Start to heal. Use this Christmas to create good memories. You have every right to mourn, and I encourage you to not lock your sadness up, but also make sure that you have joy too. Hurt and pain are so encompassing and rightfully so. Being hurt, is like getting stabbed. It takes time to stop the bleeding and sometimes the wound reopens. But this Christmas, find someone to help you stitch that wound back up. Don't keep bleeding. Please start to heal. I'm not just saying this because I love Christmas. I'm saying this because I would love to see you happy and healed, running instead of limping, laughing instead of crying in pain, dancing, instead of crippled. Enjoying life, instead of dreading the reopening of your wound. I want to see you filled with joy, not trying to hide the hurt.

May God bless you and heal you and fill you with His joy.