ok. Now I know what a lot of you are thinking. Either, "how can a christian girl be talking about this", or "seriously, another stupid article about how God is this person's true love".
And if you aren't thinking that, good for you!
I am writing this, because I have recently made a very personal discovery of what true love is. Not because I found it, but because I didn't find it. To surmise I experienced first hand that loving someone is a choice. It is not a feeling, an emotion, how excited you get when you see that person, how much you enjoy touching or kissing the person. It is a choice. Finding true love, doesn't mean that you've found the person that makes your stomach fill with butterfly's when they touch you, it means you've chosen to love someone no matter what, and they have chosen to love you back no matter what.
I have found so often that people are defining love by how much the person wants to touch them, or be around them, or how many fireworks go off when you touch. That is SO unhealthy and it is SO wrong, in fact, if you that is why someone "loves" you now, if they don't make a decision to love you later, you will get your heart broken.
Choosing to love someone means that you have seen their hurt. You've shared their pain. You know their bad side. You know how annoying they are. You know at least some of their sins. You know that they sin more than you know. BUT! You have chosen to love them because you have seen how wonderful and beautiful they are, and you have decided that they are worth going through ALL the yuck (that we mentioned before), because of that small part of them that is wonderful and beautiful.
That is what love is. It is a choice. To go through the yuck, to feel the pain, to put up with all the little things, all the big things, because you have decided that what is good in them is so wonderful, that it outweighs the bad.
Finding true love is not always possible, because it takes two people choosing to love the other like this to find it. But it does happen, if you choose to love without reason, forgive without limit, and lay your heart and your life on the line.
That is how you find true love; by choosing to love, and choosing to love, and choosing to love, and choosing to love again, and again, and again and again and again.
Yes some people are lucky, and they find love at first sight, and they do "fall in love". But if they marry that person, have they made the choice to love them forever no matter what? Do you know someone who fell in love at first sight? Are they still married? If they are, then they made that choice, and let me tell you, they have made it more than once! If they aren't, then they didn't make that choice, if they made it once then one or both of them chose to stop loving the other, whether consciously or subconsciously. Whether in an instant or slowly, and that is SO sad, and SO hard, and SO devastating, for both of those people. Not only the person who was left, but the person who chose to stop. When you choose to stop loving someone, at any level. You shut part of your heart off to them, and you shut part of your heart off to God. And that is the most devastating thing you can ever do; is shut the Healer, your Papa God, out. Because then you are left empty, filled only with your own hurt, cowardice, and fears. Upon occasion you may stumble across happiness. But you will never experience the joy of the Lord. until you let Him back in.
Now my prayer for you is that God gives you the strength to choose to love your friends, your future (or current) spouse, your children, your family. That He gives you peace when they choose not to love you back. That He becomes your stronghold when they leave you, with your heart broken into pieces. That He gives you hope, that you ARE loved, and will be loved again. If you are hurting for any reason, but especially over losing someone you love, or being deserted by someone you love. Then I hope and pray that you will find purpose, and a true love in your heart for God, as well as for others. If you are in a calm spot, then I pray that you will build up your faith, build up your strength in Christ and in your friends, that you will choose to love now, and that if/when trouble comes you will find love. True love in Christ. That you will find hope and strength to choose to love, and to be a chosen recipient of love, again.
May the God of hope, faith, peace, and love, fill you with a desire to love without reason, forgive without limit, and give up yourself for those you love and who love you.
Amen.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Who, What, and Why Am I?
Who am I?
What am I?
Why am I?
Many times I have asked myself different forms of these questions; Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose? Why do I exist? What is the point to my existence? Although these questions are not exactly the same, they all root from those first three questions. Who am I, what am I, and why am I.
Where do these questions come from? It varies for everyone, but here are a few sources; Societies/Medias' portrayal of the perfect woman, or man. The words people say about you. The way you are treated. How you feel about your actions. How others feel about your actions. What you would like to be, vs. what you think you are.
Now, I know I've given quite a few examples here, but let me give the examples.
societies portrayal of the perfect woman or man. This can bring up all three of those questions. "Who am I compared to that woman/man", "Why don't I look/act like that" or even "Why can't I look/act like that", "What am I worth. Those people look, act, and seem perfect. I'm just a big, fat, ugly, blob who can't even remember what I did yesterday! I'm no where close to where I should be."
the way you are treated; "what did I do wrong?", "Why am I being treated this way when I'm trying so hard to be nice and forgiving to them?", "Why did they stop talking to me?", "Why do they hate me?"
How you feel about your actions; "Why can't I just turn the other cheek?", "Why am I letting them treat me this way?", "What did I do wrong.", "Why do I feel hurt when it's all my fault?"
do you follow all of those why questions with a "I must have done something terrible, but I thought I was being so nice." or a "I can't say anything because it's my fault anyway." or even a "I shouldn't be hurt/angry because it's my fault they're being mean."
First, ask yourself "What is wrong with this picture?"
Now, ask yourself "Do I think this way about myself or someone else?"
Well if you do think this way, let me be the first to say "Welcome to the club!"
Let me also be the first to say, "let's put an expiration date on that club membership shall we?"
Now I have to say that I do not know whether you are in the wrong or not. But I can tell you that if someone's words or actions are hurtful, and even possibly are using you. Then there is something seriously wrong. You may have played a part in the way they treat you, however, as Christians we are supposed to go to each other and discuss, resolve, forgive, and change the hurtful ways we act and things we say. You must make the first step; take it to the Lord and examine the situation before Him. THEN you can talk to the other person.
ok, now back to the main subject.
What you would like to be vs. what you think you are; Now the phrase "what you think you are" is very important. You are probably a lot closer to what you would like to be than what you think;
Do you want to be there for people, and/or help them but feel it's useless to try? Do you want to thin and beautiful, but think you are overweight and ugly? Do you want to have a long-lasting friendship, but think you are not worth it?
As your sister in Christ I am here to tell you;
you are beautiful.
your efforts are not useless
you are worth it
you are a priceless treasure
you are perfect you are more beautiful each day
you have been declared perfect
you are declared righteous
you are forgiven
God has called you "beloved"
There is no end to the lies Satan puts into your head by using these things. Whether they come from you or another person. If you think, that you are worthless, ugly, unwanted, impossible to love. It is a lie. I'm not saying you don't sin, and that you can just shove that off. NO! you have to get yourself right with God. However, just because you sin, does NOT make you filthy, unwanted, worthless, ugly, impossible.
YOU ARE NOT any of those things.
What am I?
Why am I?
Many times I have asked myself different forms of these questions; Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose? Why do I exist? What is the point to my existence? Although these questions are not exactly the same, they all root from those first three questions. Who am I, what am I, and why am I.
Where do these questions come from? It varies for everyone, but here are a few sources; Societies/Medias' portrayal of the perfect woman, or man. The words people say about you. The way you are treated. How you feel about your actions. How others feel about your actions. What you would like to be, vs. what you think you are.
Now, I know I've given quite a few examples here, but let me give the examples.
societies portrayal of the perfect woman or man. This can bring up all three of those questions. "Who am I compared to that woman/man", "Why don't I look/act like that" or even "Why can't I look/act like that", "What am I worth. Those people look, act, and seem perfect. I'm just a big, fat, ugly, blob who can't even remember what I did yesterday! I'm no where close to where I should be."
the way you are treated; "what did I do wrong?", "Why am I being treated this way when I'm trying so hard to be nice and forgiving to them?", "Why did they stop talking to me?", "Why do they hate me?"
How you feel about your actions; "Why can't I just turn the other cheek?", "Why am I letting them treat me this way?", "What did I do wrong.", "Why do I feel hurt when it's all my fault?"
do you follow all of those why questions with a "I must have done something terrible, but I thought I was being so nice." or a "I can't say anything because it's my fault anyway." or even a "I shouldn't be hurt/angry because it's my fault they're being mean."
First, ask yourself "What is wrong with this picture?"
Now, ask yourself "Do I think this way about myself or someone else?"
Well if you do think this way, let me be the first to say "Welcome to the club!"
Let me also be the first to say, "let's put an expiration date on that club membership shall we?"
Now I have to say that I do not know whether you are in the wrong or not. But I can tell you that if someone's words or actions are hurtful, and even possibly are using you. Then there is something seriously wrong. You may have played a part in the way they treat you, however, as Christians we are supposed to go to each other and discuss, resolve, forgive, and change the hurtful ways we act and things we say. You must make the first step; take it to the Lord and examine the situation before Him. THEN you can talk to the other person.
ok, now back to the main subject.
What you would like to be vs. what you think you are; Now the phrase "what you think you are" is very important. You are probably a lot closer to what you would like to be than what you think;
Do you want to be there for people, and/or help them but feel it's useless to try? Do you want to thin and beautiful, but think you are overweight and ugly? Do you want to have a long-lasting friendship, but think you are not worth it?
As your sister in Christ I am here to tell you;
you are beautiful.
your efforts are not useless
you are worth it
you are a priceless treasure
you are perfect you are more beautiful each day
you have been declared perfect
you are declared righteous
you are forgiven
God has called you "beloved"
YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY THE MEDIA, SIN, HURT, ANGER, BITTERNESS, SHORTCOMINGS, FAILURES, WORDS, ACTIONS, ANYTHING IN OR OF THIS WORLD.
YOU ARE NOT any of those things.
YOU ARE FORGIVEN!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
My Pappa God ( and prayer)
Prayer is not just a way to communicate with a God who is all powerful and almighty. It's not just a way to revere and respect Him. It's a way to talk to your Pappa God. The one who made you. In Psalms it says that God "knit me together in my mothers womb." The One who touched me, made me, came up with the idea that Alainna is going to exist, and lovingly took the time to set aside all His business and make a piece of art that turned out to be me. Sure I've fallen off the table a few times and I've got a few cracks, yes I'm not perfect and I'm not flawless. But He thinks I am. Everytime I tip over and roll of the workshop table and crack a bit more. He has picked me up and glued me back together. Now there have been times when I haven't just rolled off the table and cracked (so to speak) I got caught in a wind and a fell off and broke! But He always picks me up and makes me new again. Because He is my Pappa and He genuenly loves me.
Sometimes when I prayed I used to get so focused on "oh no what if I say a wrong word and people laugh at me or think I'm silly." That I wouldn't talk to my Pappa, I would sit there and nervously drone on like I was reading a script.
NO! that's not the way it's supposed to be! If my best friend sat there, stared at the wall, and read a script, and that was our conversation for the day; I would feel so hurt and rejected. I wouldn't feel like I was actually their friend. I would feel like an invisible blob that they *had* to talk to not a person that loved them and they *want* to talk to.
That's how it is with Jesus too. He wants to talk to you like your friend. 'Cause that's what He is, a friend.
Feel free to talk to Him any time, all the time. He is a friend that walks with you, and waits patiently for you to notice His presence. and He wants to talk to you. If I had my choice I would spend all day with my best friends, and talk, laugh, and cry with them, enjoying every moment. That's what Jesus wants. He wants to be our Pappa God, and our friend. Someone to talk to laugh with, and the One who will hug, cuddle, and cry with us when we get hurt.
~ Pappa God.
Today was really hard. I fell off the table and broke into thousands of little pieces, and it hurt. It still hurts, even though Your working on piecing me together. I have nothing left to give right now to anybody except Your hands that are working to repair me. So my Lord Jesus I thank You that I broke, so now I'm closer to You. I thank You that You can fix me, and You won't ever pick me up and throw me on the ground to stay there shattered into millions of pieces. Thank You that even though I hurt so badly I can have joy in You. I ask that You would teach me to be Yours in all I do; in my actions, words, thoughts, heart, and soul. So I can one day help You piece another broken pot back together too.
I love You my Jesus. Help me to love You more!
~Your Beloved
Sometimes when I prayed I used to get so focused on "oh no what if I say a wrong word and people laugh at me or think I'm silly." That I wouldn't talk to my Pappa, I would sit there and nervously drone on like I was reading a script.
NO! that's not the way it's supposed to be! If my best friend sat there, stared at the wall, and read a script, and that was our conversation for the day; I would feel so hurt and rejected. I wouldn't feel like I was actually their friend. I would feel like an invisible blob that they *had* to talk to not a person that loved them and they *want* to talk to.
That's how it is with Jesus too. He wants to talk to you like your friend. 'Cause that's what He is, a friend.
Feel free to talk to Him any time, all the time. He is a friend that walks with you, and waits patiently for you to notice His presence. and He wants to talk to you. If I had my choice I would spend all day with my best friends, and talk, laugh, and cry with them, enjoying every moment. That's what Jesus wants. He wants to be our Pappa God, and our friend. Someone to talk to laugh with, and the One who will hug, cuddle, and cry with us when we get hurt.
~ Pappa God.
Today was really hard. I fell off the table and broke into thousands of little pieces, and it hurt. It still hurts, even though Your working on piecing me together. I have nothing left to give right now to anybody except Your hands that are working to repair me. So my Lord Jesus I thank You that I broke, so now I'm closer to You. I thank You that You can fix me, and You won't ever pick me up and throw me on the ground to stay there shattered into millions of pieces. Thank You that even though I hurt so badly I can have joy in You. I ask that You would teach me to be Yours in all I do; in my actions, words, thoughts, heart, and soul. So I can one day help You piece another broken pot back together too.
I love You my Jesus. Help me to love You more!
~Your Beloved
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)